Why am i so busy everyday? How i hope i have another 6 hours
per day. Heavy responsibilities seems to be slowing my steps.
Honestly, i've lost my momentum totally.
I've been feeling lost and hopeless the past 2 months.
Everyone seems to be coping well with the tests, new topics etc.
What about me? To date, i think i've yet to get myself ready.
A very good evidence is my first common test results.
It shocked me, it really did. Despite being disappointed, i kept
telling myself to start studying to start studying but i never did.
Even if i spent hours sitting there trying hard to get books into
my head, it wasn't sucessful and was all in vain.
Recently, my mind doesn't seems to be with me. I've been
thinking of many redundant issues that i shouldn't at this
point of time. Everyone patted my shoulder and said
"Aiyah, don't worry it's a norm to get disastrous results in the
early stage of sec 5 but as time goes, you'll see the difference".
Do i have to go an extra mile and put in concerted effort?
Or do i just sit back, relax and still think that i'll be smart
enough to do last-minute-work? The teachers words have
been inccessantly ringing in my ears loud and clear even before
bed. But i just can't do it. i can't i can't i can't my confidence
is at it's lowest pit nowadays. What is missing from me now?
Wheres the Eileen i've seen last year? Disappeared.
Feelings grow..... my did.
I just hope to build a relationship with a strong base now.
Because i know, when exams starts nearing i'll be deprived of
time. Time is precious i'll try my best to let our time tick
away meaningfully making sure we've cherish and made use
of every minute, every second.
I wonder if i ever treated you well enough. Did i?