Contemplate

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Why am i so busy everyday? How i hope i have another 6 hours

per day. Heavy responsibilities seems to be slowing my steps.

Honestly, i've lost my momentum totally.

I've been feeling lost and hopeless the past 2 months.

Everyone seems to be coping well with the tests, new topics etc.

What about me? To date, i think i've yet to get myself ready.

A very good evidence is my first common test results.

It shocked me, it really did. Despite being disappointed, i kept

telling myself to start studying to start studying but i never did.

Even if i spent hours sitting there trying hard to get books into

my head, it wasn't sucessful and was all in vain.

Recently, my mind doesn't seems to be with me. I've been

thinking of many redundant issues that i shouldn't at this

point of time. Everyone patted my shoulder and said

"Aiyah, don't worry it's a norm to get disastrous results in the

early stage of sec 5 but as time goes, you'll see the difference".

Do i have to go an extra mile and put in concerted effort?

Or do i just sit back, relax and still think that i'll be smart

enough to do last-minute-work? The teachers words have

been inccessantly ringing in my ears loud and clear even before

bed. But i just can't do it. i can't i can't i can't my confidence

is at it's lowest pit nowadays. What is missing from me now?

Wheres the Eileen i've seen last year? Disappeared.

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Feelings grow..... my did.

I just hope to build a relationship with a strong base now.

Because i know, when exams starts nearing i'll be deprived of

time. Time is precious i'll try my best to let our time tick

away meaningfully making sure we've cherish and made use

of every minute, every second.

I wonder if i ever treated you well enough. Did i?

Loveyou, weising.